Tuesday, December 8, 2015

What They Don't Tell You About Postpartum Recovery

One of the things that surprised me the most when I had a baby was how unprepared I was for the postpartum recovery period! Everyone has plenty to say about pregnancy and childbirth, but for some reason, the postpartum period gets kind of passed up. It isn't the prettiest or most delicate of experiences, but I don't think women should be embarrassed about it! I did have some awesome friends who gave me helpful information based on their recovery experiences, but my doctors, family members, etc. didn't really tell me much. Maybe a lot of women don't remember their postpartum recovery periods as well as the childbirth experience? I guess that would make sense, since childbirth is such an amazing and even traumatic (to put it frankly) experience for the body. I did get a little bit more preparatory information from the prenatal/childbirth prep class we took and from the website I got regular updates/advice from. However, Brian and I found ourselves surprised over and over again as I recovered from childbirth... Basically, the recovery was more intense than I thought it would be! Hopefully, this post can give some of you first time moms out there a little insight about what to expect during the postpartum recovery time. Now to be fair, everyone's experience is different, just like every childbirth experience is different. But these tips are based on my personal experiences, and I know that other women can back me up on them!

What to Expect

1) Your uterus needs to contract itself back to normal size after giving birth. Your nurses and/or doctors will help speed up the contraction process by kneading on your tummy soon after you have your baby. I remember this being uncomfortable for sure and I didn't enjoy it by any means, but it wasn't excruciating pain. The nurses first did this within minutes after I was stitched up in the delivery room, and then they would periodically do it throughout my recovery stay in the hospital. It seemed to get less painful each time they did it, from what I remember. 

Another thing that helps a uterus contract back to its normal size is breastfeeding. Each time I breastfed my son for the first week or two, especially for the first couple days in the hospital, I could literally feel my uterus contracting- kind of like a menstrual cramp. Again, it wasn't a terrible kind of pain.

2) You will bleed for a little while after the birth. The bleeding shouldn't be really intense (if you ever notice big clots, you need to call your doctor right away). It is kind of like being on your period for the first few weeks after giving birth. Your body has a lot of extra "stuff" to dispose of after you have a baby! In the hospital they give you large pads to use (they may feel like diapers, but they are necessary!), and I continued to use large ones for a week or two after I got home. After that point, the bleeding was still there sometimes (like spotting), so I just made sure to always have pads on hand. I would sometimes notice that I would bleed more after breastfeeding (remember the whole uterus contracting back thing?). Just like the cramping, the bleeding aspect of postpartum wasn't too difficult for me.

3) Going to the bathroom will be painful at first. For me, this was the worst part of postpartum recovery. I almost had to have a catheter inserted again when I was in recovery at the hospital because I had such a difficult time peeing! Thankfully, it eventually got easier during the hospital stay. I just had to make sure to get up and go often or else I would wet the bed (no muscle control right after pushing out an 8 pound baby!). The little squirt bottles they provide you with in the hospital are a life-saver- you use them as you urinate to help relieve the burning sensation.

Going #2 is a whole different experience... It was VERY painful the first time! But I think my situation was worse than it needed to be because I was constipated. I think doctors want you to have a bowel movement within 5 days after having a baby, and it took my body this long to figure it out. What I suggest is preparing yourself before you go into labor by getting lots of fiber!!! When I hit the 35 week mark with this pregnancy, I'm going to start drinking one or two glasses of prune juice every day and make sure I'm getting lots of fruit every day. Hopefully this will make things easier when it's time for me to go after having the baby! :)

4) Tearing takes a toll on your body. If you tear during pushing (which is very common, especially with your first baby), you will need stitches and these will need to heal. I had to have an episiotomy with my first (see Bubby's Birth Story) because forceps had to be used to flip him from the posterior position. I can tell you that it took several months for me to feel normal again down there, and I think it was mainly from this episiotomy (plus the other natural tears I had). I know it was good and necessary so I could have my son safely, but it caused me pain for awhile. In the hospital I was given a small inflatable tube to sit on to relieve pressure from the tearing, and this definitely helped. And when I got home, as long as I was following my pain medication schedule for the first few days the pain wasn't unbearable. But even after the initial pain went away, I could feel some scar tissue forming. You do eventually get back to normal (and I'm really hoping my second postpartum recovery won't be as painful and long), but it takes some time. Let your body heal and don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you feel something is wrong or abnormal.

5) Intimacy will be an adjustment at first. As you have probably heard or can imagine, sex after having a baby is not the most comfortable experience... But never fear, things will get back to normal! Again, just let your body heal and listen to its needs. And remember that there are lots of ways to be intimate besides the obvious. :)

6) Start thinking about birth control before you have your baby. Your doctor or nurse practitioner will be able to prescribe you your preferred method of birth control when you see him/her for your postpartum checkup (usually between 4 and 6 weeks after the baby's born). But make sure you're thinking about what you're going to do before this point, and make sure that you don't consider breastfeeding your method of birth control, because it is not a method of birth control!..... :)

7) Your period. I can't speak for other women here, but I didn't officially have another period after having my baby until he was about 5 months old (this is when I stopped breastfeeding). But I think I've heard of some women's ovulation starting back up again within a couple of months after having a baby.


What You'll Need
I found that the hospital provided me with most of the materials I needed to get through my recovery. I got witch hazel pads (which help with hemorrhoids), numbing spray (which helps while going to the bathroom), a squirt bottle (as I mentioned above, to help with urinating), and some large pads to wear for those first few postpartum recovery days when lots of fluids are still leaking. Some other things I would suggest having are:

Nursing equipment. If you're planning on breastfeeding, you're going to want a comfortable place or places to do it, and you're going to want equipment to help you feel comfortable as you're getting used to feeding your baby. I needed a water JUG (the one they gave me in the hospital) at all times with me because I always felt like I was going to die of thirst! :) I also loved my nursing pillow and my nursing cover (for when people visited). You'll probably also want lots of snacks to munch on, books and/or your phone/laptop to entertain yourself with. I watched a lot of my favorite shows while I breastfed my son.

Lots of help at home. If you're fortunate enough to have loved ones who can come to your home and help you after your baby is born, take advantage of that! My mom and sister came to help us after my son was born, and it was SOOO nice having them with us. My mom pretty much took care of all of our laundry, meals, and cleaning, and she even watched the baby for us in the morning if we had a long, sleepless night with him. I also really needed my mom and sister there emotionally, since having a baby and experiencing all that comes with it can feel overwhelming at times. It was very therapeutic to have people there with me during the day when Brian had to go back to work and school during the day.

Emergency formula. Even if you're planning on breastfeeding, I suggest having a small stash of formula on hand just in case you're going to need it. There was a night when right after my son was born when he was really fussy, and my mom told us that he was probably still hungry and not getting enough milk from me. Brian ran to the store and got some formula, but we had no idea what kind to buy! We ended up getting a soy kind, which turned out to be unnecessary (I guess most babies are just fine starting with milk-based formula). If you have a small stash on hand when the baby's born (along with a few small bottles), you can use it if your supply is struggling to keep up when the baby is going through a growth spurt. And plus, I've heard that emergency preparedness kits should always have infant formula if there are babies in your family (I didn't think of this when my baby was breast and formula feeding). This totally makes sense, because if an emergency were to ever happen in your home or area (or to you), your baby still needs to eat their specialized milk.


I could go on and on about different things parents might need when they have a baby, but since this post was dedicated to the postpartum recovery period specifically, I'll leave it at that. :)

It may seem overwhelming or scary to have a baby and to handle everything that goes along with having one, but don't worry- everything will work out and you will end up having your own story to tell! I honestly did not think things were that scary or painful when I was experiencing all of this; I was so in love with my baby and so excited he was here that those happy emotions usually overpowered any of the confused or overwhelmed ones.

<3 Tycie


Emotions: A Pregnancy Reflection

I haven't written a lot about my current pregnancy, mostly because the last 8 months have been CRAZY for me and my family. Since April, this is what we've had going on: Brian's graduation, the start and end of the most difficult semester of my college career, a move from Utah, a semi-move in Eastern Washington, a move to another part of Washington, Brian's entering of graduate school, and the start (and almost end- just one more week!) of my last semester of college. And this doesn't include all the fun celebrations that have gone on, like holidays and Bubby's birthday. I found out I was pregnant at the end of May, just before we moved from Utah.

So aside from being the mother of an active toddler, finishing my college degree (BS Marriage and Family Studies), and experiencing a crazy year of change in our family, this second pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster all on its own. The underlying cause of the emotional ups and downs comes from the fact that for several months the baby I thought was growing inside of me turned out to be a different gender than what the baby actually is.

I can't deny that I had been wanting a baby girl for a little while, even before I became pregnant the second time. I had a couple of experiences (I call them spiritual experiences) that led me to feel "connected" to a daughter Brian and I would have someday. After I found out we were expecting again, I had a few more of these experiences. Some might say that it was wishful thinking, others might believe in an almost supernatural mother-fetus connection... All I know is that I was feeling really strongly for the first few months of my pregnancy that we were having a girl. I thought of the baby as a girl, I started preparing for a girl (looking at girl clothes). Brian kept telling me that there was still a 50/50 chance we would be having a boy; in fact, he liked the idea of having two little boys back-to-back. Logically, I knew that I shouldn't prepare for a certain gender when I didn't really know for sure, but emotionally I couldn't help but feed that, what was it, a yearning? a hope? an expectation?

And there was the fact that when I was pregnant with my first, I had had a feeling that he was a boy. And I was correct on THAT instinct! Basically, I was almost sure, even deep down, that I was pregnant with a girl this time around.

And then came the ultrasound halfway through this pregnancy. I can honestly say that I was shocked when I heard the ultrasound tech say, "This baby has been flashing me this whole time and you guys haven't noticed. You're definitely having a boy." I just remember feeling kind of numb when I heard that. Was she sure? She said she was 100% sure, that she doesn't give parents a gender unless she's 100% sure. She tried to show us where the male parts were, and I guess I kind of saw them? The ultrasound was pretty unclear to me. Brian says that he caught a pretty good glimpse of the baby's "manhood" a couple of times, but I didn't really get that clarification for myself. The ultrasound tech attempted to get a snapshot of the boy part for us to take home, but the one she got is unclear to both Brian and I. Toward the end of the ultrasound, when it was time to get some pictures, the baby wasn't posing for us very well- it was hard to get some good, clear snapshots.

From the moment we left that room, I was trying to console myself, remind myself that all that truly matters is that we have a healthy baby. And according to the ultrasound, he IS very healthy! But I couldn't deny that I was shocked by the gender reveal. I had truly thought we would be going home that day telling people we were having a girl. The rest of that day was difficult for me, because almost every single person in both of our families cast their vote as GIRL before we went to our ultrasound. I couldn't help but feel that other people were disappointed like I was disappointed. There, I said it: I was disappointed. And I know this shouldn't matter, but in Brian's family there are a lot more boys than there are girls, and I felt like everyone was kind of hoping we would be having a girl since it has been several years since a "round" of girls has been born. One of my sisters-in-law is just a few weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy, and she is having a girl. We were hoping to have two girls together, especially since we had two boys together just a couple of years ago. (As a side note, I feel SO happy for this sister-in-law, because this baby is going to be her last, and her family was really hoping for one more girl.) Anyway, I felt like because we are having another boy, people weren't quite as excited for us as they would have been if we had found out we were having a girl. This could have all been in my head, but I still felt it.

So, since finding out the gender of our second baby, my emotions (which were already kind of out of whack anyway) have been all over the place. I go from loving my pregnant body to hating being pregnant, from being excited about having two little boys to love on and then to feeling slightly depressed that I don't get to buy all of those pink baby clothes yet. I keep reminding myself that ultimately, the most important thing is that the baby and I are healthy. I also keep telling myself that once I actually MEET this little guy and hold him for the first time, I will fall in love with another boy all over again. I know I will! But the wildly-running emotions are still real and are still there. I feel: 1) Guilty that I feel any disappointment at all about the gender of my baby; 2) Worried that I won't be as excited about this baby as I was with my firstborn; 3) Confused that my instincts were so off on this one. It has felt as though I've had to get to know this baby all over again starting halfway through the pregnancy. And I kind of feel like I'll have to get to know him all over again when I actually meet him for the first time.

I know that this little guy is supposed to be a part of our family. I know that I am blessed to be able to have him and to be a mother. I know that I will love him more than I'll be able to describe, but for right now, I'm still feeling a little confused about the whole situation. I'm optimistic that I won't feel so confused and all over the emotion spectrum when our new life as a family of 4 begins. I know there will be new challenges and new opportunities when we become parents of 2- but I'm hoping I can embrace these and enjoy/cherish the journey!